The whisky lullaby
by Happy-Orange-94
Summary: What if Bella was jumping off the cliff to die? These are her consequences in her and other's POV. Song of inspiration - Whisky Lullaby by Brad paisley ft Alison krauss. And yes, the first chapt is from new moon, but edited to my conditions. Comments pls!
1. Death is peacefull, easy Life is Harder

Chapter one Death is peaceful, easy. Life is harder.

Song: My last breath - Evanescence

Bella POV

The ocean sounded very far away, somehow farther than before, when I was on the path in the trees. I grimaced when I thought of the probable temperature of the water. But I wasn't going to let that stop me.

I stepped out to the edge, keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me. My toes felt ahead blindly, caressing the edge of the rock when the encountered it. I drew in a deep breath and held it… waiting.

"Bella".

I smiled and exhaled.

_Yes?_ I didn't answer out loud, for fear that the sound of my voice would shatter the beautiful illusion. He sounded so real, so close. It was only when he was disapproving like this that I could hear the true memory of his voice - the velvet texture and the musical intonation that made up the most perfect of all voices.

"Don't do this," he pleaded.

_You wanted me to be human, _I reminded him. _Well, watch me._

"Please. For me."

_But you won't stay with me any other way._

"Please." It was just a whisper in the blowing rain that tossed my hair and drenched my clothes - making me as wet as if this were my second jump of the day.

I rolled up on the balls of my feet.

"No Bella!" He was angry now, and the angry was so lovely.

I smiled as I raised my arms straight out, as if I were going to dive, lifting my face into the rain. But it was too ingrained from years of swimming at the public pool - feet first, first time. I leaned forward, crouching to get more spring.

And I flung myself off the cliff.

I screamed as I dropped through the open air like a meteor. The wind resisted, trying vainly to fight the unconquerable gravity, pushing against me and twirling me in spirals like a rocket crashing to the earth.

_Yes!_ The word echoed through my head as I sliced through the surface of the water. It was icy, colder than I thought, and yet the chill only added to the high.

I was disappointed with myself as I plunged deeper into the freezing black water. I hadn't had one moment of pure terror - just adrenaline. Really, the fall wasn't scary at all, where was the challenge?

That was when the current caught me.

The obvious danger of the cliff's high, sheer faces, I was pleased about the dark water that was now with me. I'd never dreamed of the true menace was lurking far below, under the heaving surf. It pleased me.

I felt the waves fighting over me, jerking me back and forth between them as if determined to share by pulling me in half. I couldn't even tell which way the surface was. I concentrated on letting the waves pull me down to their depths.

The angry water was black in every direction; there was no brightness . Gravity was all powerful when it competed with the air, but it had nothing on the waves - I couldn't feel a downward pull, a sinking in any direction. I was angry for a moment, then I wondered if this was a good sign. Was I loosing to the waves now I couldn't feel them? The current battered me and flung me round and round like a rag doll.

It didn't surprise me that my delusion of Edward was there. He owed me that much, considering that I was dying. I was drowning.

"Keep swimming!" Edward begged urgently in my head.

I ignored his request.

"Stop that!" He ordered. "Don't you dare give up!"

The cold of the water was numbing my arms and legs. I didn't feel the buffeting so much as before. It was more of just a dizziness now.

I was impatient and waited for it to end.

"Fight!" he yelled. "Damn it Bella, keep fighting!"

_Why? That was the first time I questioned my actions. I didn't want to fight with life anymore. _

_I ignored his words again. Why should I fight when I wasn't happy with what I had? Even as my lungs burned for more air and my legs cramped in the icy cold, I was content. I'd forgotten what real happiness felt like._

_Death is peaceful, easy. Life is harder._


	2. The race is on

Chapter two

Song: Decode - Paramore

Alice POV

I closed my eyes and breathed. The hours had gone so slowly, painfully slowly. I was back on familiar turf again, Home turf.

There would be no time for bothering about treaty lines today so I urged my legs to sprint further. My phone rang and I flipped it open.

"Alice, where are you?" Carlisle's curious voice questioned me.

"I…" I paused, wondering if I should tell him. Of course I should. We would need a doctor, right? "I'm back at Forks…"

"Alice… We promised Edward we wouldn't return."

"Carlisle!" I stopped him. "I had to come, you have to believe me. I can't just let her die, it'll break E… Charlie's heart."

He understood immediately that I was speaking of Bella."Why on earth didn't you tell the rest of us before speeding off?"

"I can't let Edward know what I'm doing. That's why."

"What has happened Alice?"

I reached the main road, not caring if anyone saw my inhumane speed. I could smell her luscious scent down the highway. It had to be no older than an hour, it was more or less a fresh trail.

I could tell I was getting closer, I urged myself to move even quicker.

"Carlisle I have to go, I'm getting closer to the water -" And I threw my cell phone as I flew off the cliff. I heard Carlisle's distant voice coming from the phone. But I was concentrating on finding Bella. I was wishing for a miracle in this whole mess.

My outstretched arms pierced the what must have been icy water. Immediately I searched frantically for a sign of Bella. Without my sense of smell, this could be tricky.

I closed my eyes and looked for Bella's existence in my visions.

_There she was, diving off the cliff like a meteor. Her expression was so strange, she was almost frowning in annoyance. As she reached the water, the waves pulled her like a rag doll - why didn't she fight? After a few precious moments, I saw her open her eyes as if to question her whereabouts. But yet again, she did not fight. The waves won and pulled her deeper and deeper into it's depths. At this point I knew she was loosing consciousness; I could almost feel the life slipping away from her. _

_As I waited to see where she was going, I felt the climate around us. It must have been freezing, there had been a storm brewing, I could tell by the look of the furious sky and the vicious waves. What had she been thinking to drive herself to do this? Edward had promised us all that it was best for her and he had made sure she would keep herself safe. _

_Finally, I saw her limp, fragile body being pulled by the waves towards the shore. The water must have calmed down, and I knew immediately what I had to do._

No longer than ten seconds had passed and I pulled myself to the present. There was absolutely no time to loose. So I kicked my legs and cut through the dark water with my arms praying I Bella had held on.

Finally, I was almost at the dark shore and I lifted my head above the water. I grimaced. There _she_ was, lying motionless at the tip of the sand, freezing water washing over her body occasionally. As soon as I could put my feet down on the sea bed, I lurched forward to her side. I fell beside Bella's body onto my knees, and pulled her into a sitting position, supporting her with one arm. I listened for a sign of a small heartbeat. Or any vital sign of life. I wiped her mahogany hair out of her face, and felt myself breaking down.

_No_, I had to be strong. There was no time for me to break apart. I had to be strong for everyone around me, I _had_ to save her. It was part of being a Cullen, _putting others before yourself._

I lay Bella's head on the sand, still listening for a heartbeat.

It was faint, but it was there. _Barely_.

Instinctively, I placed my hands on her chest and asserted the right amount of pressure to try and get her weak heart going even again.

"So help me Bella, I _will_ get it going!" I growled, as I continued to press her chest continually.

A nervous tremble escaped my lips and I stopped trying to get her heart beating more evenly. I put my cool, marble lips to her soft ones and pushed oxygen into her. This was all I could do to keep her alive until I was at the hospital or had my hands on medical equipment.

I came to steady conclusion that I was doing not much good at all keeping her at the beach. I swept her delicate body into my arms and broke into a run. I decided to run to the house in the middle of the forest - hospitals would ask too many questions, and I _knew_ Carlisle had Medical equipment in his office. Everything I needed for now anyway. The race was on.

I reached the empty house and bolted up the pathway, not bothering to unlock the door, I just pushed it open with force. I checked her heartbeat as I flew up the stairs to Edwards inhabited bedroom, it was stuttering quietly.

I lay her carefully on his bed and left her there to retrieve the landline phone. As soon as it reached my hands, I dialled Carlisle's cell number. For once in my Vampire life I was scared, my breath trembled and my pale hands shook. I had to steady myself before dialling a second time.

The dial hadn't even rang twice before he picked up.

"Alice, I'm already on my way. I'm nearly there now. Did you find Bella?"

"Yes! She's alive, just. I don't know what to do," my voice trembled on the last word.

"Don't panic, that's the last thing we need. Now I need you to be calm. Go up into my office, and you'll find various machines you can use…"

I had my hands on them as Carlisle relayed the names to me. I got back to Bella and quickly assembled the life monitors as he instructed me to put them together. I moved swiftly but surely - I couldn't afford to make a mistake. Bella _couldn't die._ I wouldn't let her. Even if I have to change her myself.

I connected Bella to the machines and listened to them. One pumping Bella's delicate heart for her and one of the others monitoring the beats and rhythm of her heart.

"Thank you Carlisle," I paused. "Thank you so much. She's my best friend. You have no idea how much this means to me, and I know how much it will mean to the rest of the family. We're breaking apart at the seams as it is."

"I know Alice," I heard the smile in his voice and he continued. "I'm so proud of you, you've done amazingly well. I'll be home soon and I promise I'll do my best."

"I know you will," I replied. I was thankful. Bella's condition should stay stable until Carlisle arrived.

"Esme want's a word with you ok?"

"Sure."

"Honey, I'm so proud of you, I love you Alice. You have such a pure heart, we're lucky to have such a ray of sunshine around us."

I heard a chiming laugh and realised it was my own. "I'm not so sure about that"

We both laughed again.

"I didn't know you were coming along, where are the others?"

"They're still back at the other house. I'll speak to you later honey, we're about to land. I love you."

"Love you too."

And the phone went off.

I watched Bella for a while. I brushed her hair and cleaned her face. I wondered frantically what the other's reactions would be.

I grimaced.

Edward would be furious I'd went back to Forks. I knew it was for a good enough reason.

_Edward._


	3. Change

Chapter three Change

Song: Rusty Halo - The script (For now! Any suggestions?)

Carlisle POV

Esme handed me back the phone and sighed. I looked straight into her eyes.

"This family is such a mess, I don't know what we should do. Are we doing the right thing?" She asked me quietly.

"_I_ think so. We can't just let her die. She's part of the family whether Edward likes it or not. I just hope we get home in time to do _something_."

She took my hand gently and squeezed it.

"She'll be fine. You can fix her."

I sighed and closed my eyes. _You can fix her _she had said. I forced myself to look at my wife again.

"I'm not sure I should subject her to that. Edward would be furious."

She frowned too, "Edward left her. What does it mean to him if you change her when he's no longer in her life."

I focused my attention on the views out of the window, not looking at her. "We should put our seatbelt on now, the captain is landing soon."

We were back at the airport in Port Angeles. We didn't take the car, we walked swiftly towards the outskirts towards the forest; where nobody would see us. Esme let go of my hand as we darted though the dark forest, dodging through the trees. Alice would be going out of her mind if we didn't arrive soon; Esme seemed to notice that too and we both picked up the pace. I wondered what Edward's reaction would be. I would have Esme ring him and let him know we were back in Forks; we were due to check in with him sometime soon.

Finally, we reached the thinner part of the forest, almost at the home we left not so many months ago. It seemed quite strange to be back, too many memories of heartbreak.

And then we arrived at the pathway leading to our home. The run on the way here had been exhilarating non the less, but there was a sense of panic along the way.

"Go Carlisle!" Esme urged me, as she was slower than I was and she realised there was not much time. Alice hadn't told me the extend of Bella's injuries. Or how she acquired them. This only worried me more that I should hurry, I needed to examine her.

I darted through the unlocked (or broken) door, not even pausing as I whipped my jacket off and dropping it somewhere as I made my way upstairs to Edward's previous room. I knew they where there as I could smell the potent scent of brine and Bella's weak blood.

I pushed open the door, bracing myself for the sight of my adopted daughter.

At first, I only heard the weak stuttering of her heart. Despite the machines working her heart for her, she was still almost irrevocably weak.

Alice jumped up off the rocking chair in the corner of the room and caught my eyes with hers.

"Thank goodness you're here, I didn't know how much more I could take being helpless." She put her hands up to her face as if she were about to cry. "This is such a mess, and it's all my fault. I should have _stopped_ Edward from leaving. I should have _seen _how badly she was coping!"

I put my arms around her to comfort her. "Alice, try not to worry. This is _not_ your fault. We all make our mistakes in life, but this isn't one of yours. Go downstairs for a while, Esme will be home in a few seconds - I can hear her along the trail. You need to bring her up her and fill us both in on what happened."

She looked at me.

"Go."

So she left me alone with Bella to greet my wife when she arrived home.

I looked at Bella more closely now. Her skin was a pallid tone, and I could see beneath the transparent membrane of her skin that her blood was weak. Her body had obviously been through something traumatic, that much was obvious. Her skin was beginning to produce bruises on almost every inch of her skin. I winced. This was all of our fault that she was in this state; perhaps she'd never be in this way if we'd have stayed.

I moved closer to her to get a better diagnosis.

Alice POV

I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for Esme. I needed to tell Carlisle what had happened; it was vital in order for him to diagnose the injuries properly.

Finally my mother arrived. She nodded once and we both rushed up the winding steps of the staircase. I heard Esme gasp and saw her put her hands to her mouth. I moved closer and began to speed through the story as Carlisle worked over Bella.

"I came straight here because I'd seen her jump off the cliff. And not resurface."

Esme gasped again and Carlisle turned to produce a pained expression.

"What has Edward lead her to do? When I get my hands on him…" Esme exclaimed. She shook her head. "This is exactly what happened to me Carlisle. I don't think we've got a choice…"

Esme's voice drained out and I saw Bella in my mind. She was writhing in pain. Then I saw myself sitting beside her, watching her body change, watching her burn. Then a new image of her as a vampire. She was so beautiful. Then that pathway disappeared.


	4. I choose death

Chapter four

Song: Disturbia - Rihanna

Bella POV

_Why wasn't I dying?_

I could feel the freezing water around me. It was heaving furiously against me, but had no effect. It couldn't budge me. _Why not?_ I though furiously.

I had such a strange feeling at the pit of my stomach, eeriness was washing over me. I shuddered violently.

_There is a rational response,_ I thought bitterly to myself.

There was also a feeling of nostalgia. I looked around the surroundings. I was definitely in the water, I could see it whirling intensely around me, slipping past my body as if I was a solid statue.

Something whooshed past me, and I immediately spun round.

_Nothing._

Then I saw something behind some huge rocks.

My heart stuttered frantically. I tried to swim towards it to investigate. I wasn't swimming, I seemed to be gliding - I couldn't feel the water but I knew I was there. It was as if I were a ghost.

Pain ripped through my chest, like a _pounding_. And my heart ached.

Was this hell? Or a place between life and death? _I choose death._

But how could it be death when I felt the nostalgia?

The pain I was feeling, was dull, but powerful. The hole in my torso. I sighed and frowned.

The eeriness was almost overwhelming, almost crippling me. Then I realised what - or rather who I was perusing. _Him._

_Edward._ I forced myself to think of his name and trembled - the hole was burning at the edges.

Why shouldn't I follow him? This would be my last chance - hallucination or no hallucination.

I forced myself forward, following _him._ But for every breadth I took, he moved further away.

I was furious.

Why couldn't I have a last moment with him when I was _dying_? Surely it's not too much to ask.

Then the water caught up with me, thrashing me around. I tried to scream out his name, stop him from disappearing but he continued to move away.

Now I was getting frantic. The pain was almost unbearable as I fought my way through the angry currents.

At this point, he had gone. Disappeared. I felt helpless, torn and weak. My eyes continued the desperate search for him.

Eventually the currents overpowered me, I curled up, holding myself together as I let the pain enclose me. _Goodbye, I love you… Were my last thoughts._


End file.
